It has been said that a good band is greater than the sum of its parts. This kind of thing is made possible by lip-synching and hiring other musicians to play on the albums. The exception that proves the rule, 24 Hour Cardlock has always been exactly as good as the sum of its parts. Luckily, it has lots of them.
♦ Pacific Division
♣ Central Division
Cabover Pete - vocals, guitar ♦ ♣
Legal-Eye Jerry - Trumpet, vocals, guitar ♦
Jerry has amassed a small fortune, and large reputation, as the inventor of "pre-natal litigation"--and remains its sole practitioner, thanks to a patent he filed just prior to his own conception. Jerry can often be found on the golf course, but redeems himself for this odious habit with his "play until your lungs bleed" mentality. He looks nothing like someone in a band.
Der Fungle - Harp, keys, shakers, vocals, guitar ♦
Der Fungle is another successful graduate of the Cardlock Achievement Reduction Program (CARP), through which successful, productive professionals are brought down to the bands level, and hopefully, stay there. Underneath his exterior resemblance to members of other bands, Der Fungle is a trained physician (with a specialty in online urology, though we're basing that on what we saw when we glanced at his laptop). Der Fungle is uniquely qualified to explain just what the heck David Carradine was doing. But he won't.
Capt. Screwmaster - Drums, bass, guitar ♣
In addition to his undeniable talent and sometimes problematic resemblence to members of other bands, Capt. Screwmaster is also an accomplished lifestyle consultant and life coach. His philosophy is perhaps best summed up by the Capt. himself:
"Look, I don't understand why you are being fussy about this! It's beer: You drink it; you take your shirt off; and you fight!"
Alka Bongo - Drums, guitar ♣
Al has a reputation for being a two-fisted sort of a fellow. This is handy, because he can hold a stick in each fist, and then use those to hit things, and this is exactly what the person at the back of a band usually does. Kismet? No thank you, he's more of a IPA with a brandy chaser kind of a guy. After five of those, Al looks a lot like two people in other bands.
La Bronca - Bass, guitar, guitar ♣
You will like La Bronca. Seriously. It's just a lot less painful for everyone that way. She looks like someone in another band, but don't tell her that, or your ribs will never heal properly. Once scared something so bad that it ran away to the farthest corner of the planet and changed its DNA just so she wouldn't get mad at it. It didn't work. She's pretty choked about it.